Mostly Martha and Mac 'n' Cheese: It's A Good Thing

As anyone who is a regular consumer of available news media is doubtless aware, there was a bit of confusion over just when Martha Stewart was actually going to be sprung.  By the time you read this, it will have happened.   We were told it would be sometime this week, but there was some obfuscation over the exact date and time.  My own experience (and no, I haven't yet had any long-term incarceration at Rikers, just that one civil-disobedience rap, your honor) stems from having known someone who was released from prison a while ago.  The authorities kept changing the date of the release.   I think they do that either to throw the press off the scent, or maybe to keep the rest of the institution's population quiet.   

Think about it.  If there's this much furor among those of us on the outside, can you imagine what's happening with the inmates of Alderson?  They must be in an uproar.  Martha's leaving? Who's going to make them crab-apple jelly from fruit stolen on a grounds walk?  Who's going to up their vegetable intake with wild dandelion greens?  Who'll teach morning yoga class, and help them with decorative stencils for their cells?  Okay, the other stuff is more or less true (or at least reported in the press) but I made up the part about the stencils.  I couldn't resist.  Long before her current period of infamy, Martha was an easy target for domestic humor.   In the past she has occasionally appeared to be angered by that.  She's mellowed, though, apparently, and perhaps developed a better sense of humor about herself.  I'm sure she's well aware of being the probable subject of even more ragging and roasting upon her release. 

Whatever I personally may think of her crimes (and I do think harshly of them; I'm not a fan of insider trading), I must say that I have long thought her punishment absolutely ridiculous.  Why incarcerate this woman at the taxpayers' expense?  Here's a person who's not an immediate danger to society (unless the population at large takes to eating the macaroni and cheese referenced below at frequent intervals, since if they do so they will collapse from carb/dairy/fat overdose).  I also didn't think it likely that she would be "rehabilitated" by a prison stay.  If any rehabilitation were to occur, it would more likely be the result of the sheer humiliation of exposure and bad publicity.  I had a completely different plan for Martha. 

As an education consultant I'm exposed to the evils of public school food on a daily basis.  I'm not going to terrorize you with graphic details of the aromas that emanate from school kitchens, the sad evidence on children's lunch trays, the dreadful waste of it all.  But I will say that it's not a good situation.  The food is at best indifferent, at worst quite inedible and sometimes spoiled, often cold, and dreadfully lacking in dietary balance and fresh produce.   And it is a simply awful reality that there are many, many children, at least in New York City, for whom the school lunch is their one shot at a real meal during the day.  Given all this, I came up with my Martha scheme.  Why not give Martha a community service term instead of a prison sentence?  Harness all her brilliant organizational and considerable culinary talents, and put her in charge of the NYC public school lunch program!  Let her contribute something to a service infrastructure instead of being a financial burden on the public.  I'd be willing to wager that she would have whipped that system into shape in no time.   I'm not saying she would have become Alice Waters or even Jamie Oliver, but she could have been Martha, doing something good for the undernourished bodies and spirits of schoolkids. 

But I was not consulted when Martha's sentencing came due.  It was probably just an oversight.  In spite of that, she's apparently made good use of her time in the clink.  She does indeed have a couple of sweet deals pending her release, and there'll be no lack of work for her.  Not for Martha the depressing case of the released inmate who faces poor odds in the search for a decent and sustaining job.  However, Martha has apparently been sensitized to the plight of prison inmates, and is going to use her celebrity to champion their cause.  If, despite her different social class and situation in life, she doesn't cut,  run and turn her back on her recent mates, perhaps prison's actually been something of a transformational experience.  I still think my plan was the better one, however. 

I've never been much of a Martha fan.  To say the least, my domestic style is pitiably lacking in Martha-ness, and I don't even own a hot-glue gun.  The girl does have some serious recipes though, and a goodly number of them are right out there for no charge on her website  --  a refreshing difference from those pricey subscription recipe sites.  So, in honor of her imminent freedom, I want to share with you my own favorite recipe from the domestic-diva-turned-jailbird. 

I know you can't really tell what this is.  I'm still photographically challenged, especially when I don't notice that my own big head is getting in my light.   But it's an extra-large pan of Mac 'n' Cheese -- Martha's "Perfect" Macaroni and Cheese, to be exact.  Here in celebration of the very idea of "release" is G's and my all-time favorite dish of creamy, starchy, cheesy, crumby, crunchy comfort food.   It's basically a high-carb, high-fat (albeit also high-protein) coronary-on-a-plate, containing butter, whole milk (you could modify it I guess), and lots and lots of cheese in the sauce (I often use a mix of various types). Then there's a layer of MORE cheese on top of the mac 'n' sauce, and then a thick overcoat of fresh breadcrumbs tossed in butter.  This provides excellent browning and serious crunch factor enhancement.  It makes enough for 12 people, so you can cut this recipe in half if you wish.  I never do.  I make the whole gigantic panful for our household of two, and we chow it down blissfully over a period of several days as dinner's main course with a salad, as a side to other mains, and for lunch.  I also freeze lunch containers and take it to work.  I like to side it with sauteed spinach, which gives a good, green-leafy counterpoint to all that creaminess. 

So whether you love her or hate her, raise a fork to Martha, and let's hope that she'll donate some of her well and/or ill-gotten gains and her considerable talent and energy to help those less fortunate, whether in prisons or schools.  As she herself might say, it would be a good thing. 

Comments

[Zarah Maria]

The world would be a much nicer place if you were the one sentencing villains Julie - I just know it! And we would all have mac'n'cheese and chocolate cake all the time - now I'd like that!:-)

[ejm]

Well said! It really is a shame that they didn't consult with you about Martha Stewart's sentencing. (I keep wondering why she was targetted in the first place and yet others have gotten off scott free. "Scapegoat" springs to mind.)

Oooh I adore macaroni and cheese and that version does look good. In fact, it looks just like my mom's (except that as I recall, Mom used cheddar cheese only and dry bread crumbs and no butter for the top crust) But definitely, I'll clink forks! Mac'n'cheese is in order for today.

-Elizabeth

[Moira]

Mac and cheese.....[insert Homer Simpson "donuts" sound effect here].....oh, yeah.

[Julie]

Zarah...oh, Zaaaarraaaaaahhhh....there's mac and there's cake waiting for you in New York...

Elizabeth -- any day is a good day for mac 'n' cheese -- unless we're being good and having those nice virtuous diety dinners of fish and veggies...which I like too, don't get me wrong...but every so often, give me my mac...

Moira, please get over here and take a gorgeous artful food-porny photo that does justice to the regal cheese-dripping glory of this dish...

[ejm]

Of course you are right, Julie. Will you please come and explain that to my husband? He just doesn't understand about the importance of having macaroni and cheese every day. (It IS one of the required food groups, isn't it?)

[Moira]

I wish I could! I am going to make and photograph mac & cheese tomorrow for my post on the 'Falling Cloudberries' giveaway contest, though. I like it plain and my husband absolutely *loves* it with bread crumbs on top, so we'll have to see which one makes it into the post. Hopefully it will be "porny" enough for you, Julie! ;-)

[ejm]

Why don't you do and photograph a half and half version? One half with breadcrumbs on top and the other half without? I love it both ways and whichever way it is, is my favourite.

Have you ever put cocktail olives and tuna fish in as well? It's delicious!

[raspberry sour]

the first part of your title tweaked my brain back to a german film i saw several years ago called 'mostly martha'. about a chef with a temper working in a very sophisticated establishment. she prepares elaborate meals for herself alone in her apartment and teaches her therapist to bake. enter italian chef and his calm italian passions.

far more satisfying than our own martha has ever shown herself to be.

[Elna Smith]

You do write beautifully Julie! That's one of the reasons I do visit you at least twice a day. I simply love reading your blog. It has become a form of learning as well as entertainment for me. I do learn a lot from your writing and your culinary adventures.

Yes indeed, you've got an excellent idea about what they should have done with Martha Stewart. Too bad you were not consulted! Anyhow, I love mac n cheese and I've got to try this one next week. Thanks once again.

[Julie]

Thanks Elna -- it's great to have you visit. I think if you try this mac'n'cheese, you won't be sorry!

[Joe]

Perhaps, Julie, as a part of her post- prison activities, Martha can set up an institutional food blog. I know that the camp where I work during the summer could really benefit from a good mac and cheese recipe (current recipe, place elbow mac in tepid water in the morning and leave it there until noon when you drain it and squeeze cheese from a pouch on top, spoon into a bowl and serve). We could certainly use help from Martha and you.

Joe