These spoke to me, a week or so before Christmas. They were at my favorite Fairway market, sitting innocently on a shelf of lovely imported holiday foods from the British Isles, when I heard their siren song. "Buy us," they sang as I wheeled my cart in their direction. "You know that you have a secret longing for mince pies to go with your hot mulled wine over the holidays. No one else likes mincemeat, no one even makes it. This is your one and only shot at mince pie this holiday season!" Not only did they talk, but just look at them. They're little and cute -- and they're festive! It's in their very name, Festive Mince Pies! How could I possibly resist?
Well, had I known that three weeks later they'd still be sitting unopened on the kitchen counter, I might have held back. It also would have been helpful if I hadn't been visited by the case of temporary amnesia I always seem to experience while I'm food shopping -- the one that causes me to forget that I already have plenty of similar items at home. In this case, for example, we already had lots of sweets -- homemade cookies in eleven varieties, Italian torrone, caramels, boxes of candy I had been given for holiday gifts. Obviously I didn't need mince pies. And once the immediate yen had left me, I didn't even want them enough to have opened them up over the past several weeks. Clearly I have a bit of a problem: an unfortunate tendency to both overshop and to fall prey to impulse purchases, especially if I'm hungry. And somehow, I often end up grocery shopping when hungry.
The fact that I have not one but two pantries in my kitchen leads not only to overshopping but to overstocking as well. My one comfort is that in the event that we do experience some sort of disaster that prevents us from leaving the house (heavens forfend), we could live sealed in our apartment for quite a while. In fact, we could probably feed our small, 9-unit building as well. I won't list all the kinds and varieties of legumes, the grains and pastas, the nuts, the canned tuna (each time it goes on sale in one of our local markets, G asks if I don't want to buy some to go with the 20 other cans we have sitting in the pantry), the specialty oils and vinegars, flours and sugars, the jams, the tinned tomatoes and the spices, herbs, rubs, pastes, sauces and condiments. The fridge usually holds numerous cheeses as well as everything else you can think of, and the freezer, while not large, is brimful with a careful geometrical arrangement which I re-do every time I put something new in. We certainly don't like to imagine or dwell on disaster, but G, who loves cold weather, has a fantasy of being snowed in. Honestly, we'd do just fine if we couldn't get to the store for a while.
The bad part about overshopping is that I do end up throwing away far too much food -- especially fresh food. Yesterday I thought I might make some lovely fresh prosciutto and provolone tortelloni I'd purchased a while earlier. Quite a while earlier, it quickly became apparent. In my defense, I had had the idea that I would get to the tortelloni much sooner than I did, which is why I didn't freeze it. Anyway, when I dug it out of the back of the fridge in the morning, it had started colonizing. New life forms, new empires -- but nothing you'd want to make for dinner, trust me.
In all likelihood, we could feed a lot of folk on what we end up throwing away. So my New Year's resolution is to buy less and waste less. But I feel so profligate and isolated, having made this confession. Surely I'm not alone out here -- please share some stories of your own lonely, rarely-used ingredients or impulse buys that have yet to be eaten...
Found some moldy Trader Joe's marinara sauce in the fridge last night. Served me right for not making my own. Seriously, I have a habit of buying sacks of whole-wheat flour, boxes of kasha, and other grain-based foods that go off while sitting in the pantry from year to year. This results from unrealistic optimism about how much time I will have to use them...E does the same thing with various tofu products that inhabit considerable space in our fridge, including several blocks of tempeh that I am now keeping for solely historical purposes...
Posted by: Joe C | January 11, 2006 at 12:48 PM
I have been guilty of overshopping and overstocking but I've managed to curb my urges because I really resist throwing food away. For the same reason I must cleam every plate of food put before me, the starving children in some third world country, I can't bear the thought of food going to waste. Hoever, recently I made myself part with dried fruit that had been in the refrigerator, I would guess, at least five years. The jar of olives that I brought more recently to have on hand, just in case, I threw out because of the white gauzy threads in the bottle. I envy the gourmet cooks who always seem to have the right ingredients on hand. Mine are always petrified.
Posted by: Felicia | January 11, 2006 at 04:13 PM
Oh you know it, yes you do! I'm actually pretty good at not doing the overstocking thing at the moment, I've started weeding out already so I won't have to throw out that much when we pack up for our trip. That said, I know there's a potato and broccoli soup in the fridge just now that really shouldn't be there.. Some caviar - the real kind, even - saved for a special occasion or something? Why does one do that? Caviar IS an occasion in itself, isn't it?? Ah wel - at least we are aware of what we're doing - that's one step in the right direction, isn't it?:-)
Posted by: Zarah Maria | January 11, 2006 at 07:49 PM
I've got the same problem with tuna, believe me. I could make tuna sandwiches until Thanksgiving at this point. I also keep buying baking supplies. How many unopened bags of specialty flours do I need? Quite a lot apparently.
Posted by: BNA | January 12, 2006 at 11:47 AM
When I moved into my new apartment, I found not one, but two, unopened and expired containters of ricotta cheese belonging to one of my roommates. I also frequently buy herbs with the intention of using them all week, a la Rachael Ray, only to find the herbs have disintegrated into a soppy, watery mess a week later. You're not alone.
Posted by: Nani | January 13, 2006 at 09:09 AM
Phew! Many thanks to my bro, Felicia, Zarah, BNA, and Nani for rescuing me from my sad conviction that I'm the world's only food hoarder. I may still be the world's WORST food hoarder, but at least I'm not alone...
Posted by: Julie | January 13, 2006 at 09:17 PM
I have a quart mason jar full of red dates that I bought in Chinatown on New Year's Day 2000. Eileen Yin-Fei Lo says that they are best used after six months, and yet, there they still sit. I know I should throw them away, and yet I just can't bear to do so.
Posted by: Bakerina | January 15, 2006 at 05:31 PM
No, you're not alone, by any means. My two worst habits are using only a cup or two of chicken stock and forgetting about the rest, or letting the salad greens and celery turn to mush. I hope to get a composter for the garden this year, so at least the greens won't go to waste!
Posted by: Jeanne | January 15, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Oh yes. I especially hate it when I buy some lovely fresh produce and then leave it to wilt.
Posted by: belledame222 | January 21, 2006 at 11:32 PM
I'm convinced that I keep the packaged herb industry in business. Every week I buy fresh mint, fresh chives and fresh sage, and every week, I seem to throw out a dried or wilted package of herbs. I read a recipe once for sage leaves quickly fried in butter -- so I need them on hand in case I ever get around to doing that. I have mojitos when I'm out, and love the mint. So I need that on hand in case I ever need to make one at home. Ditto the limes, which I replace when I end up with green golf balls. Plus, a fresh sprig of mint is so festive in one's tea. Assuming I ever made it on my own, at home. Which I don't. I have every bottled sauce, curry, chutney, olive oil, flavored vinegar, caramelized onions, capers, and anchovy I can find. Why? I don't know. In case extra company drops by without notice, on Bridge Night. Which I've never played. I call th is my "condimentia." I did have one shining moment of glory a year ago, when we couldn't get into a late night bistro for New Year's Eve. Everyone came home and I opened up bottles and cans and jars of every condiment under the sun, for quite the little feast. First and last time it ever happened... yet the herb hoarding and sauce collecting continues unabated. I, too, need to throw less fresh food away. It's shameful, really, how many times I've thrown out smelly stalks of asparagus. I love this stuff, but really, I'm so weary at the end of the day, the freezer food beckons, and the fresh food rots. Pitiful.
Posted by: Kristina | March 06, 2006 at 08:09 PM
Kristina, thanks for dropping by. I know just how it feels. I love having fresh herbs around, and I've certainly thrown out my share of aging cilantro, mint, etc. My dream is that one day, in the city or out, we'll have enough of a patch of garden or terrace to grow a few potted herbs, so that I no longer pay exorbitant prices for what turns to green sludge in a matter of days...
Posted by: Julie | March 06, 2006 at 09:30 PM