C U @ the ) ...

...meaning "see you at the moon", except that I couldn't seem to make Typepad give me a good symbol for moon, so I used that little parenthesis.

"See you at the moon" is one of the slogans of Baltimore's famed Papermoon Diner (this link does not provide a full menu, which is pages long, but merely a sample.  Actually, here's a more complete link).  I've been hearing about the Papermoon for quite awhile.  As a matter of fact, I've been repeatedly told that I didn't know or understand what a diner was, since I'd never been to the Moon.   Fortunately, I was granted the opportunity during one of our recent "Hey!  We have a car!  Let's get out of town!" weekend jaunts, this time to DC and Baltimore.  The trip was mostly in order to see and hear this beloved band for the second out of three times in a week, groupies that we are.  We also had a chance to stay at this funky venue for a night, have a brief lunch at Lexington Market  (crab cakes! cream of crab soup! Polack Johnny's Hot & Spicy Sausage! Ocean City-style fries!) and to visit the Baltimore branch of G's family. 

I'd proudly introduced G to my favorite Blue Benn, and we discovered the sadly and hopefully only temporarily defunct Farmers' Diner together, but G kept telling me that although they were great, they weren't *real diners*.  According to the G definition,  a real diner must be open 24/7 (except maybe for Thanksgiving and Christmas) and you have to be allowed to smoke. This, of course, means that many states in our great nation no longer have "real" diners.  If these states were to realize that their all-night egg-and-hash joints no longer fit into the G definition of authentic dinerhood, would that be enough to change state legislation around smoking in public places?  It remains to be seen.  Perhaps there could be a special amendment or clause for 24-hour diners...

Of course, the Papermoon does have non-smoking rooms.  But the counter and the area around it are sacrosanct to the crowd that enjoy a cig with their coffee after one of the beautiful omelets or quesadillas, or their famous meatloaf.  The food doesn't stray far from a reasonably standard diner menu, but the quality is stellar.  I ordered an old favorite that's not easy to find even at diners these days:  the patty melt, a burger with fried onions and cheese on grilled rye bread.  G had a "porky burger" with cheese and bacon, and we shared some quesadillas, since obviously we were going for the total pig-out.  Everything was good, really good -- the salsa with the quesadillas tasted of several different chiles, the burgers were fresh and tasty, and the fries were so recently out of the basket that we couldn't touch them for several minutes.   Our iced teas were refilled with whenever we wished, another diner courtesy that is becoming more and more of a rarity.

I may have to say that as much as I loved the food, as much as I want to go back and order all the things I didn't have, I might enjoy the environment even more than the food.  Someone had a lot of fun creating this place.   I've been to many a restaurant that was filled with old toys and/or found-object art, but this is without a doubt, the apotheosis of the form.

The place is not without its idioyncrasies, including a lengthy list of "rules" inside each menu, which are all composed of different disemboweled children's books.  There's no talking to the line cooks behind the counter, there's a $5 minimum during busy hours and a $3 plate-sharing charge -- which is certainly unusual for a diner.  Another rule specifies "no crybabies" but there are plenty of toys around to distract even the crankiest sensibility.

I suppose you could come to the Moon in a bad mood, or have a bad time, but it's hard to imagine.   You have to like diner food, and you've gotta enjoy kitsch, so if a ceiling fan with Barbies chasing action figures in twirling perpetuity is not your thing, maybe you shouldn't go to the Moon.

Papermoon Diner
227 W 29th St
Baltimore, MD 21211
(410) 889-4444

...with great appreciation to all those whose Papermoon images were borrowed for this post...

Comments

[Ivonne]

What an interesting, eclectic place! I love learning about venues in other cities ... thanks for the post!

[Paige]

Your description of the offbeat Paper Moon Diner is right on target. I used to work near the Diner and enjoyed going there. The breakfast food is delicious. Thanks for the review and photos of a Baltimore establishment!